I've changed my mind, Castle
by MsDaHedgehog
Summary: Season two finale: Just as Kate tells Castle that she has changed her mind about his offer, Gina turns up and shatters Becketts hopes. Initially telling Castle not to come back, will he be able to break down her shield and convince her to let him back in her life? Please review! - ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

How long does it take to make coffee? Beckett had been waiting fifteen minutes and he still wasn't back from the break room. Debating with herself, she finally decides to go and find him. Almost at the door to the break room, she hears him talking to the boys.

"Private access to the beach, swimming pool, a kitchen that has everything you could possibly want to eat. Jealous guys?" She could picture the looks on Ryan and Espositos faces, particularly Ryan's; pure looks of awe and disappointment that they weren't going with him.

"Castle," came the hidden voice of Esposito. "You've been bragging about your house in the Hamptons for like… fifteen minutes now. You're spending all this time talking, are you actually every going to leave?"

Castle smiled at the two detectives in front of him. "I think you are jealous. I'm leaving really soon, and I'll be out of your hair _all_ summer. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss you guys, but I'm so far behind writing the latest instalment of Nikki Heat that Black Pawn is actually threatening to drop me." He stops talking and she could hear him fiddling with the coffee machine he'd bought. Guessing he wouldn't be much longer, she headed back to her desk, pulling some paperwork towards her with the idea of making it look like she'd been there all along.

Back in the break room, Castle was putting the finishing touches to Becketts' coffee. Esposito, being the gossip that he was, drilled Castle about his offer to Beckett. "So, bro, what's happening with you and Beckett?"

"Nothing?" Castle answered. As much as he would love there to be something, nobody got everything they wished for.

"Come off it." Ryan said, looking around to see if the woman in question was anywhere around. Lowering his voice, he continued. "We know you asked her to go away with you and we know she has the weekend off."

Castle sighed. "Yes, I asked her to come with me for the weekend, but she turned me down. I think her and Demming are sort of serious…"

"Yeah, but Lanie told me that Beckett called things off with Demming after you two spoke, and that she was actually considering your offer. Lanie said that Kate was gonna talk to you about it before you left, with the hope that you still wanted her to go."

"What? Are you sure?" Espo nodded to Castle as the writers face paled dangerously. Shit. Fuck. No, no, no this can't be happening. She was adamant that she wasn't coming! Castle couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had to get out of here, get back to Kate and talk to her. Talk to her before…

"I… um… need to get this to Beckett…" He darted out the break room, almost crashing into the door frame. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other and headed towards the door, both with serious looks upon their faces. They watched Castle approach Beckett before heading towards their own desks. Seeing how flustered the writer was, Ryan was the first to voice his opinion. "Either he really, _really_ wants Beckett to go or-" Espo finished the thought for him. "Or he's already made other plans."

"Thanks, Castle." Kate said graciously with a bright smile as she took the steaming mug form him. Castle, who had decided to remain standing at the end of her desk, gave a tight smile. "You're welcome, Detective."

Putting down her mug, she gets up to stand next to him. Together, they stand staring at the now empty murder board. She decides it's now or never. He'll have to leave soon and she wants to make sure she leaves with him.

"So, Castle, still off to the Hamptons tonight?" She's looking at him but he won't look at her. Finally, eye still focused ahead, he answers. "Yeah, yeah I am, Beckett. Listen, about that, I-"

"Good." She interrupts. She can hear the faint 'ping' of the elevator but it doesn't occur to her to glance around. If she had, it would have saved her the embarrassment. "I wanted to let you know. I've changed my mind, Castle; I would love to go with-"

"Rick, are you ready to leave?"

The detective and the writer both spin round. Beckett, speechless, turns to a guilty looking Castle and even Esposito and Ryan look up from their desks, shocked. Gina? What the hell was Gina doing here? Was Gina going with him now? In the thirty seconds it had been since Castles ex-wife had stepped out of the elevator and crushed Becketts hopes, a million questions had run through her mind. She had basically opened up to him, told him she'd changed her mind, that she wanted to go the Hamptons with him after all. She had regretted saying no to him the moment she said it. He had looked so disappointed, she just wanted to put her hand to his cheek, but not only would that be inappropriate for the workplace, she had been in a relationship with Demming. That had changed however, as soon as Castle had left to meet Alexis for lunch; she'd gone to see Demming and broke it off with him. He knew of course, he must have done, he'd hugged her and told her that he hoped it all worked out for her. She realised now that she should have told Castle that she would think about it, that she would get back to him later, not give him a straight out no. Maybe that was the last straw for him… Maybe he'd finally given up waiting…

Still staring at Castle, Beckett face was full of emotion. "Castle, Rick?" Kate whispers to her partner. Castle could see her confusion at why Gina was there. He could barely look at her; hurt had started to lace her eyes as she started to realise exactly why Gina was there.

"Not going to introduce me, Rick?"

Castle looked away from Kate and turned to Gina. "Sorry, of course, Gina, this is Detective Kate Beckett. Beckett, this is Gina, my publisher and ex-wife." He watched the two women exchange pleasantries. Gina smiled a genuine smile, but he knew Becketts was forced. "Gina, I'll be ready in a minute, why don't you go and wait by the elevator whilst I say my goodbyes?"

"Okay. It was finally nice to meet you, Detective." With one final smile, Gina strolled towards the elevator, playing with her phone as she went.

Beckett was frozen at the end of her desk. Castle moved to face her and put a hand on her arm. She shrugged him off and moved away, sitting herself back at her desk. When she wouldn't look at him, he chose to try and explain. "Kate, I-"

"You need to leave, Castle." The tears that had built in her eyes were threatening to fall. She was looking at him and he could see how much he had now hurt her. "I think you've done enough research, your character has a back story and I'm sure you've tagged along enough to know how things work. Given recent events, it would be best if you didn't return after the summer. I can't have you here anymore, not now."

She closed herself off, shut her emotions down again. He'd messed up and he knew it. He knew it would be best just to leave, to give it a while and try to talk to her again. "Bye, Kate…" he whispered, not knowing if she'd actually heard him. Giving a sharp nod towards the boys, he left to join Gina, and to leave the precinct for, quite possibly, the last time.

The boys were barely able to return his nod before he walked away. Seeing Castle disappear with Gina, Ryan and Espo look over to Beckett. She had turned her chair, determined not to look at the elevator. They both exchange looks of confusion. "What the hell was he thinking?" Espo spat whilst Ryan shrugged. "Maybe he wasn't." They sit there in silence for a minute before Ryan nods towards Beckett. "You should try talking to her, I'm gonna get us a coffee." He got up and left Esposito pondering how best to approach the impending conversation with Beckett. Eventually he decides to outright confront her. He slides over in his chair, stopping directly in front of her desk.

"Beckett, are you-"

"Don't. Just don't, Javi. I'm fine." Lifting her head, she stared straight at her friend and she tried to will the tears away. Espo left his chair and stepped closer to her, wanting to keep his words private.

"Like hell you are, Beckett. Kate, I know you, you aren't 'fine'! Me and Ryan got things covered here, we'll vouch for you if Montgomery asks. Go take a break, fix your make-up, you don't want people to talk now, do you chica?"

Kate gives a small smile to her friend and nods. "Thanks, Javi. I'll be back in ten." Grabbing her bag, she leaves and heads towards the ladies, placing a hand on Espositos shoulder as she passed.

As Espo watched her disappear, Ryan re-entered the bullpen with their coffees. "Where's Beckett?" his voice was full of concern for the detective."

"Sent her on a break, I said we'd cover for her with Montgomery. Man, what the hell was Castle thinking? Beckett said no to him this morning and he's already jumping back into bed with his ex-wife?"

"Hey," Ryan stops him. "We don't know that he's gonna sleep with her. She is his publisher, maybe she's just going with him to make sure he writes."

"Dude, you see the way Gina looked at him? He had that glint in her eye. I saw them holding hands just as the elevator doors closed, so please, don't try and tell me he isn't going to sleep with her. Bro, if he cared about Beckett at all, he wouldn't have invited Gina to meet him up here. Kev, he's hurt her, and in case you didn't realise, she broke up with Demming for him. I hope he doesn't come back.

Espo headed back to his desk and Ryan soon followed. They sat in uncomfortable silence, and whilst Ryan started with paperwork from their last case, Esposito shot a text to Lanie.

'_**Chica, we got a problem. Castles ex-wife turned up as Kate told him she wanted to go with. I don't know exactly what was said but long story short is that Castle and Gina are on their way to the Hamptons. Kate's upset, Lanie, real upset. Try and help her tonight? X**_**'**

Text sent, Espo settled to do his own paperwork, keeping an eye trained on the door to Montgomery's office.


	2. Chapter 2

Could this really be happening? Did that just happen? Did he just turn his back on the woman he's loved for nearly two years to spend the summer with his ex-wife? The doors to the elevator opened and Rick and Gina stepped out into the precincts lobby. Gina had gripped his hand as the doors closed on the homicide floor, and he hadn't had the heart to pull away. To make matters worse, he was sure that Esposito had seem them through that last, closing gap.

If Gina noticed his now subdued mood, she didn't mention it. Instead she just smiled brightly as Rick grabbed her bags from the security station and led her towards the Ferrari that was parked right outside the building. Being the gentleman he was, he held the passenger side door open and waited stiffly whilst she seated herself comfortably. From her angle she couldn't see him staring sadly at the buildings doors after he'd put her things in the boot. He finally wrenched his gaze away and clambered into the car. He looked over to Gina as he started the engine; she was still messing around with her phone, tapping at it, but, feeling his gaze, she looked up at him.

Smiling, she takes his hand. "Are you okay, Rick?" he nodded and gave her a tight smile. "Good. Do you mind if I spend the drive making phone calls and sending e-mails? I want to clear my schedule completely so I can spend the whole summer with you. Do you know if Martha and Alexis plan to join us at any point?"

"That's play, don't worry about it, it'll save you doing it at the house. Mother did mention something about coming down in a few weeks, apparently there's a vintage shop or something she wants to visit. As for Alexis, she hasn't told me of any plans to stay, though there's a high possibility of her coming down with Mother; she hates staying in the loft alone." He glanced over to see Gina's reaction; she was noticing to his words. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not, Rick. I love spending time with them. I was exactly the same as Alexis at her age, hated staying anywhere alone, right up until I left halls and had my own apartment. Right, let's get started on these calls." They were stuck at some lights so she took the opportunity to lean over and kiss his cheek before settling back in her seat with her diary, phone in hand, ready to make a start on rearranging her many appointments.

Rick welcomed the silence of the car and the time to think. So much had happened in the space of the day and he had to process it all. He had realised he was in love with Kate months ago, and had tried time and time again to get closer to her by asking her out, only to be shot down every time. He thinks back to that morning when he asked her to go away with him for the weekend, but once again he had shot him down. Then again, at the time he had asked her she had had a boyfriend. He knew at the time he shouldn't have asked her, but the thought of not seeing her all summer was too much for him, so he took the bull by the horns and got hit square in the chest. Alexis had told him not to bother, and she had all but said 'I told you so' when he met her for lunch. "_Alexis is right,_" he had told himself as he watched his daughter walk away, he had to get over his obsession with Beckett, and when Gina had expectantly walked into the restaurant not two minutes later and he asked her to join him and had thought, "_Why not start now?_"

They had flirted and laughed for twenty minutes until whomever Gina was meeting turned up. He thought back to that last minute before they parted.

* * *

"_Ah, Rick, the subject of my meeting had just arrived, I better be going. It was good to see you, you know, out of work." She bent down and kissed his cheek._

_He didn't want her to go, if she left, he'd go back to thinking about Beckett. A sudden thought hit him. "Gina, wait." She turned back round to find him standing before her. "Do you have any plans for the summer?"_

_She considered him for a few seconds before answering. "I have a fair few meetings, appointments, new writers to manage, why do you ask?"_

"_I was wondering if you fancied joining me in the Hamptons? Spending the last twenty minutes have brought back a lot of memories and, I suppose, I was also wondering if you would consider starting 'us' back up again? I really think we could make it work this time. Plus, you could keep an eye on me whilst I write all those missing chapters I owe you. What do you say?"_

_She was taken aback. They had been divorced for years but she still, to this day, held a spark for him. Secretly, she had always hoped they could work it out, and she had all but completely given up when he started shadowing Detective Beckett. The way he went on about her! Anyone could tell he was in love with the woman, the way he went on about her. She didn't want to be a rebound but this is what she had been waiting for!_

"_I'd love to, Rick. I'm sure I could rearrange my diary for a few weeks, get the other publishers to take over for a while. Are you sure about this though? Things got quite messy the last time we tried this."_

"_We can start slow. Get to know each other again. Think of it as a summer long first date? You're appointments waiting and I have to get back to the precinct. What time do you reckon you can get away for the day?"_

_Checking her watch, and pulling out her phone, she checked her calendar. "About three I think, but I'll have to head home and pack a bag or three if I'm staying all summer. Will you make dinner reservations for about nine?"_

"_Of course. I have the car at the precinct so how about you grab a cab and meet me there? Just leave your things with one of the officers in the lobby, they won't mind if you say you're there to see me or Beckett. Come up to the homicide floor because you'll probably have to drag me away from a case."_

* * *

He was stringing Gina along and he knew it. It was so very wrong of him but it had worked, for a good few hours too. Right up until Espo and said that Kate had changed her mind. It was too late for him to change his plans but he could at least of made things less awkward by meeting Gina in the lobby rather than her coming up to get him. He had every right to invite whomever he wanted to go away with him, but not the right to rub the fact that Beckett had missed her chance in her face. He was vaguely aware that Gina was talking but he knew that it wasn't to him. He would have to phone his mother when he got to the house, she would know how to help him out of this sticky situation. He wouldn't take all the responsibility for his predicament, but he didn't exactly make it easy on himself.


	3. Chapter 3

I've changed my mind, Castle

Chapter 3

Kate sat in one of the empty cubicles in the ladies for what seemed like hours, though according to her watch, was merely a few minutes. She thought back to twenty minutes ago, to where things had gone so horribly wrong. She'd messed up and she knew it. Why, _why_, had she waited so long? Did she honestly believe that Castle would wait forever for her to be ready to be more than friends? She must have done; and the reality of finding out he wouldn't had caused her to be sitting on top of a closed precinct toilet, head down, crying in to her hands.

It was all her fault, she knew that. She had brought all this on herself; with her inability to be open and honest with Castle, hell, with anyone. It was wrong of her to assume that Castle would wait, but he'd waited for two years, so was so wrong for her to think he'd wait a little longer? Of course it was wrong! Did she honestly expect him to wait even though she was dating another guy! It was stupid. She was stupid. The whole thing was just stupid. Using Demming was not one of her finest moments but it had worked – for a while. He'd been fun, a breath of fresh air. She'd had a laugh with him, trained with him – amongst other things. The best thing, in her mind, about Tom Demming? He didn't pry into her life and make her talk about the thing that eats at her each and every day. He didn't put himself into situations that could end badly. He didn't try and be the hero and save her even though she could take care of herself. She knew that if something happened to Tom, it wouldn't be on her conscience. He could protect himself, keep himself safe. Castle couldn't do that, he wasn't a cop, and he didn't have the training. He didn't see danger like she did. It may not have been her idea, or one that she particularly liked at first, but she felt guilty every time they were in a tough, possibly life threatening situation because he was her responsibility.

Kate raised her head and leaned back whilst she thought back to when her partnership with Castle started. She had been annoyed, to say the least. At the beginning, his theories were stupid, but they paid off and she'd grown to love them. His presence was at first suffocating but now she missed it when he wasn't there. Memorising her coffee order had seemed quite stalker-like at times but now she was accustomed to him arriving with a steaming take-out cup for her as well as himself. Sometimes it seemed like they were so in sync, finishing each other's sentences, saying the same things at the same time – it was like they were meant to be. An involuntary smile started to creep to her lips as Kate remembered the countless innuendos she and Castle have shared over the last two years. It was hard for her to remember these because what came with it was the undoubtable flirting. Looking back now she realised that she'd fallen for Castle way back at the beginning but she was too stubborn to let into those feelings. She had pushed them away, believing they would complicate things for them. Kate didn't want to start something with the man who was becoming her best friend only for them to not work out. She would lose him in both ways, so keeping him as a friend had seemed like the best thing to do, only as time went on, he feelings became harder to ignore – not matter how hard she tried.

Now she had no chance, no chance whatsoever. She couldn't help but feel hurt by Castle walking away with Gina. She had no right to of course, Castle was a free man, free to do what he wanted or _who_ he wanted and she had no business getting involved. She didn't like it but she had turned him down on his offer to the Hamptons more than once that morning and no one could blame him for retracting that invite to take someone else.

Kate checked her watch to find that she'd been in the bathroom for near on half an hour. People would start to talk if she didn't head back to her desk soon. Espo had said that he and Ryan would cover for her a while but this was taking it too far. She mentally slapped herself and headed out the cubicle to the sink and splashed some water on her face. Looking at herself in the mirror, it was far too obvious that she had been crying. Remembering that Esposito had told her to fix her make-up, she did just that, thankful she remembered to pack her concealer in her bag that morning. She was still staring at her reflection when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

_**Girl, Javi filled me in. I'm coming over tonight, no buts x**_

"Dammit, Javi, did you really have to get Lanie involved?" Kate sighed and closed her eyes, hitting her phone against her forehead in frustration. Kate could blame Espo all she wanted but it was inevitable that her friend would find out but a Lanie lecture was the last thing she needed. Lanie had been going on at Kate every chance she got for weeks to admit her feelings to herself and then tell Castle but Kate just ignored her. Kate was in no way looking forward to Lanie's smug 'I told you so' moment due to come that evening.

_**Just don't forget to bring the wine x **_she texted back after a minute. She knew her friend was only looking out for her but she was not looking forward to having to repeat what happened earlier. Kate gave one last sigh before she left the bathroom and headed back to her partners.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito were still sitting at their respective desks, both completing their paperwork. Montgomery hadn't inquired about Kate yet but Espo really wished she would hurry up; she'd been half an hour and some of the other detectives were starting to stare at him, silently asking where she was. He knew she needed the time to compose herself, never, in all the time of working with Detective Katherine Beckett, had Esposito seen her cry. No matter what the case, what the situation was, Beckett had always managed to keep herself professional and seeing her cry had brought him mixed emotions. The distant sound of heels clicking against the hard wood floors of the precinct brought Espo back to his senses.

She appeared round the corner and headed straight for her desk but as soon as she deposited her bag on her chair, she walked straight over to sit on the edge of Espo's desk. Ryan looked up from his desk to observe Kate for a minute, and upon receiving a small nod and smile from the Detective, he returned to his paperwork.

"How you doing chica?" Espo was still concerned for his friend. He could still see that she had been crying but he knew it wouldn't be obvious unless you knew she had.

"I'm good. No, Javi, I am. Don't worry about me. Is Montgomery still in his office?"

"Yeah, he hasn't been out though, so you're in the clear."

"Good, thanks. I need have a word with him. Hey, you two," She was now addressing both of her partners. "Save me my fair share of the paperwork, it's not fair that you two do all of it."

The two Detectives didn't need telling twice, both dropping their pens, they gathered the remaining files and deposited them on Kate's desk.

"Coffee?" Ryan asked and after getting a nod from both Espo and Kate, he scurried off to the break room.

"Right, I'll be back in a minute." Kate left Espo at his desk and strolled off to Montgomery's office and took a deep breath before knocking on the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate was bracing herself as she prepared to knock for the second time. Montgomery was definitely in his office because she could hear him talking to someone on the phone, not to mention see him him through the partially closed blinds of his office window. She knew it would be professional to turn around and try again later but she needed to talk to him about her vacation time, and seeing as it was nearing the end of her shift, she needed to do it sooner rather than later. She was too busy mentally preparing what she was going to say to her Captain that she hadn't realised that he had opened the door to his office and was now standing waiting expectantly at her.

"Detective Beckett, is there something that you wanted?" His sharp voice snapped her back to reality. Kate could tell that he was surprisingly angry; something that was rather unusual for Roy Montgomery. Whoever his conversation was with had put the Captian in a very, very bad mood and Kate almost didn't want to have to talk to him right now.

"Umm... yes, Sir. I need to talk to you about the vacation time I have booked off." She looked at him and waited to be invited into his office. He gave her face the once over, trying to figure out whether this was to be a good discussion or a bad, and upon noticing the slight, red puffiness to the underneath of her eyes he concluded in was to be the latter. Kate noticed her Captain giving her a slight nod of admission before moving aside for her to enter.

Montgomery took back to his seat at his desk before speaking to her. "So, Detective, what is it about your vacation is it you need to discuss?"

Kate had stayed standing near the closed door but moved closer to the desk to talk directly to her captain. She was nervous; she had asked for this vacation not a week ago and he had had to arrange her cover with not much notice and now she was going to ask for it to be retracted... Kate was apprehensive as to how this was going to go.

"Well, Sir, the thing is - I don't need it anymore. My plans have changed and I am no longer in need of the four days I have booked off. What I'm asking to be shifted back into this weekends duty and to have my now not needed vacations days stacked back up..."

Montgomery had been staring at her whilst she was talking but as soon as she had mentioned her plans changing, he had looked away. It was typical Beckett; she never could stay away from the job. Kate could see that Montgomery's expression had changed into a frown and she knew that he was a little disappointed with her for changing her mind at the last minute but she was hoping that he would agree - she didn't want four days sitting at home doing nothing when she could be at work doing something useful. She was still looking at him hopefully when he lifted his head to finally talk to her.

"I'm sorry, Beckett, no can do. Your vacation days are already booked and another Detective has been drafted in to cover your post for the weekend. It's too late for you to suddenly change your mind. You'll just have to use these vacation days and get on with it."

"But, Sir, I don't _need_ to take this weekend off. Like I said, my plans have changed. I don't even want the vacations days back if that's going to be an issue, I just need you to agree to let me work this weekend."

"Kate, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it now, it's too late." He stood up and walked around his desk and sat himself on the edge to talk to her. "Look, I know that you broke things off with Detective Demming and I know that something also happened between you and Castle but you need this vacation, Kate. Can you honestly tell me when the last time you took some time off for yourself?"

She thought about his question but couldn't find an answer; the truth was that as far as she could remember, she had never taken personal time off since she first joined the academy. Her answer was obviously showing clear on her face because Montgomery had started talking again before she could give a vocal answer.

"I know you, Kate, you always put the job before anything ans everything. I'm not going to involve myself into your personal life but I'm going to hazard a guess and say that what happened between you and Demming today has something to do with Castle. I heard from one of your colleagues on this floor that you've asked Castle not to return after the summer. I don't know why but if that's what you really want, I'll inform the Mayor that it's in the best interest of you for him not to return. Now, I know you wasn't exactly enthusiastic when he started shadowing you but you two have developed a bond like one I've never seen, and I don't want you to throw that away if it's over something that's not worth it. Take these four days, Kate and really think about what you want, and if you still feel the same way on Tuesday, I'll make the call, but I'm not retracting your leave, hell, I'd give you a full week if I could."

Kate couldn't look at Montgomery; everything he had said was true - she didn't really want Castle to stay away; she had acted out of hurt and anger but she didn't really feel that she could have him back shadowing her knowing that she had these feelings for him that he obviously seemed to not reciprocate. With the way the captain was looking at her the way he was, all she could do was nod silently and admit defeat.

"Go back to work, finish your paperwork and if a body drops, let the boys handle it okay? I don't want you to start a new case and have to abandon it, I know you wont be able to do that. I'll see you Tuesday, Detective."

Kate nodded to Montgomery before she headed out of his office and back to her desk. She looked down at her fathers watch and noticed she had just under half an hour left before she would have to go home and prepare for Lanies arrival. Sitting herself back at her desk, Kate steadily made her way through her remaining paperwork, engaging in small talk with Espo. She learned that while she was in with Montgomery, Ryan had left for the evening, needing to get ready for a date he had with some woman called Jenny. Kate looked down at her watch and noticed it was five o'clock and upon glancing at the captains office, she saw him standing in his doorway staring at her, as if daring her to stay behind. She sighed and nodded towards him before standing.

"That's me done Espo. I'll see you on Tuesday yeah?" She shrugged on her jacket before grabbing her phone, purse and keys.

"Sure thing, Beckett. Take it easy yeah? And say hi to that beautiful chica you have coming over for dinner tonight." He winked at her and she couldn't help but smile.

"Why don't you just ask her out, Javi?"

"I have, she said no. I'm biding my time before going there again. There's only so much a guy can take you know?" The gravity of that statement hit home for Kate and it took all her energy to keep the smile on her face. Esposito had just unknowingly voiced what Kate had been dreading and once again her mind was back on Castle.

"Yeah, Javi, I get it... I gotta get going or Montgomery will frog march me out of here and back home himself. See you." She waited long enough to receive a nod of farewell before spinning round and speed walking it to the elevator and pressing the call button. She was at her car in a matter of minutes and although she really didn't want to go home, she pushed the key in the ignition and started the fifteen minute drive to her apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

Rick had been driving in the direction of the Hamptons with Gina for nearly an hour and he was already growing bored of hearing her talk in to that stupid phone. He appreciated that she was trying to clear everything so she wouldn't have to do it when they were at the house but the woman just would not take a break! Checking his watch, Rick deduced that she'd been in the same one phone call, having an argument with whoever it was, for fifty-two minutes and it seemed as though the conversation would never end. Even though he has said that he didn't mind her making calls in the car, he regretted that now; her voice was really started to annoy him. Sighing quietly, Rick took the next right turn and was surprised to find the usually jam packed road was pretty clear, maybe they would get there sooner than expected...

Fifteen minutes later, Gina ended her call and huffed in frustration. "Everything alright?" Rick asked her without caring to glance her way.

"No." She sighed and reopened her diary to pencil something in. "I need to make a conference call when we get to the house and I'll most likely be on for a good few hours, possibly longer. I'm so sorry, Rick, they just won't take no for an answer. Black Pawn are desperately trying to sign a new, upcoming writer for a three book deal and they're insisting that I'm there for the negotiations. They want me to video in as it's the best we can do now. You're okay with this aren't you? Hopefully after tonight they'll agree to leave me before the next few weeks, I'm due some time off anyway." She looked over to him, hopeful that he would show an interest in how hard she was having to work to make the summer special for them.

"Of course I don't mind. I made reservations for dinner but I can always call and cancel. I'm sure I can rustle up something decent when you're finished. You can even use my office for privacy if you'd like?" Internally, Rick had exhaled and started to smile. He was getting a good few hours on his own, maybe he would take a stroll down to the beach; it was one of his favourite places on Earth. He could grab a blanket, his laptop, a cold drink, sit on the sand and do some writing - that or have a good old think.

"Looking forward to it, I've missed your cooking. You sure about me using your office? Don't you need it to write? And I know how you feel about anyone else being in there."

"No, no, I can write anywhere, you know me."

"Yes, I do know you - master of procrastination." Gina gave him a bright smile, stopped talking and started typing away on her phone again. After a while, Rick could tell she wanted to say something, out of the corner of his eye he could see her stop what she was doing a few times and look at him, open and close her mouth, making a little sound each time she did so. Finally, after five solid minutes of this repeated action, she seemed to work out what she wanted to say.

"So, Detective Beckett, she seemed a little ..." Her thought trailed off but Rick still froze. Why would she be bringing up Beckett?

"She seemed a little what?" He tried to keep his voice even, hoping it wouldn't betray his inner turmoil. He didn't want Gina to discover how uneasy talking about Kate was going to be for him.

"Oh, well, she just seemed a little... _off_. I could just be reading more into this than necessary but what was wrong with her? It was like she was angry, or maybe she could just be territorial over her ... space. Whenever you talk about her, Rick, you always say that she's nice and friendly but she definitely didn't seem like the person you've painted her to be."

Rick had been far too shocked by Kate's change of mind back at the precinct to really pay attention to the exchange between her and Gina. He knew Kate well enough to know that she rarely showed outward emotion. Was Gina lying? Was she testing him in some way? No, she wouldn't do that. Maybe the exchange had indeed been one of those rare occasions Kate had let her guard drop. Either way, he couldn't let Gina think of Kate as anything less than the kind-hearted woman he knew her to be.

"Uh. Oh, I'm sure that was nothing intentional towards you, Gina. She's been unbelievably stressed and over-worked on the case we've been working on the past week - double homicide. Honestly nothing to worry about or over-think." He turned briefly towards her and gave her what he hoped to be an easy smile. She returned it and placed her hand lightly on his arm before speaking.

"Oh, well that's understandable - and a relief. I honestly thought that she'd taken an instant dislike to me." She chuckled softly and smiled, but while he joined her, she couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes, and how his smile didn't quite reach them. She leaned back in to her seat and opened her diary once more with the pretense of jotting down a few notes. What she did was think back to the brief few minutes she had spent at the precinct earlier. The more she thought about it, the clearer her memory became, and she realised that she couldn't remember seeing anything on the murder board, nor did she see any files littering the Detectives desk. Her stomach tightened; they had only been back together five minutes and he was already lying to her.

* * *

They made it to the Hamptons a little over an hour after their short conversation regarding Beckett. For the most part, they remained silent for the remainder of the journey, speaking only occasionally to ask the odd question. Pulling up to the house, Rick parked the car in the driveway, got out and jogged round to Gina's side to open the door, offering his hand to help her out. Gina stood by the now closed car door and admired the house in front of her. It had been a few years since she was last there but the exterior of the house hadn't changed at all. She stayed standing, remembering the last time she and Rick had been there alone - and the arguments that led to the destruction of their marriage. It was only when she was standing there, looking at the three-story building that she remembered all the hateful things that had been shouted between behind the confines of the walls, and she couldn't quite believe that she was back there once again.

The crunching sound of gravel beneath feet pulled her from the memories. Rick was looking at her, staring straight at her eyes, as if he knew what she was thinking. She gave him a bright smile and knocked the saddening thoughts from her mind as he spoke.

"Gee, the doors unlocked if you want to go in. I'll grab your bags and put them in the bedroom if you want to get started on work?"

She nodded. "Thanks, Rick. I think I'll freshen up a bit and get settled in your office. I'll come find you when I'm done." She gave him a swift kiss on the cheek before walking into the house, hoping she remembered where the bathroom was.

Rick watched as Gina moved towards the house and threw the open door. Once she was out of sight, Rick lent heavily against the car and closed his eyes. he wanted to leave, to be away from the house, or rather he wanted Gina to leave. Sure, he knew the two of them would have fun, and the sex had always been great with them but he felt guilty for the reasoning behind starting this while thing up again. He needed to think, properly think. He needed to push Katherine Beckett from the forefront of his mind. If he tried hard enough, put the required amount of effort in, he could make it work with Gina again. Rick pushed away from the car and unloaded the bags from the trunk, taking them inside and up to his bedroom, deciding to get writing as soon as he could.

Writing had always helped to clear his mind, and that's what he planned on doing for the next few hours. Yes, essentially, some (his mother and Alexis) would say he was writing about Kate and therefore doing the opposite of what he needed to. To Rick, he would be writing about Becketts fictional alter-ego, _not _the same thing. Besides, he only had a couple of chapters left to write of the current _Nikki Heat_ book, plus the alterations his publisher (i.e. ex-wife upstairs making herself comfy in his office) felt necessary and demand he make, then he would have the next few weeks to rid his head and heart of feelings for Kate. Could that be so hard?

He changed quickly when he got to the bedroom into a plain tee and shorts, popped his head into Gina to let her know where he was heading and left the house in the direction of the beach, laptop and blanket in hand.

* * *

_**Apologies for the long wait for those of you still bothering to read this :) Believe me, I won't be surprised or hurt if you decided to abandon this fic... just let me know if it's worth continuing - got the feeling from the off that some people didn't like it, has kinda made it hard to carry on...**_


	6. Chapter 6

Kate arrived at her apartment just under twenty minutes after leaving Esposito at the precinct. She dumped her bag on the side table byt the door, left her keys in the dish next to it and headed straight for the kitchen; she had one glass worth of wine left in her fridge and she planned on downing that as soon as possible. Lanie was due round in just under an hour and Kate felt as though she needed a good long shower to wash the day away. The first thing she noticed upon entering the bathroom, however, was her copy of '_Heat Wave_' laying on top of her towels, exactly where she had left it the previous night. She though back to when Castle left earlier; she had regretted telling him not to come back, yet she didn't have it in her to rectify that mistake at this present moment in time.

Kate spent a full twenty minutes standing under the hot spraying water before getting out and changing in to sweats. She killed the remaining time before Lanies arrival by tidying round her apartment; by the time the doorbell rang she had loaded the dishwasher, thrown various items of clothing in to the laundry hamper, checked through her stack of mail and gathered up all the trash. When Kate opened the door, Lanie was standing on her welcome mat holding a bag containing at least three bottles of wine in one hand and balancing two boxes of pizza in the other. Kate gave her a small, sad smile as she invited her in to the apartment.

Two wine glasses were soon sitting, full to the brims, on the small coffee table while the two women munched on their pizza. Four slices and a refill of wine each later, Lanie finally spoke.

"So, are we just gonna sit here in silence, eating pizza and drinking wine or are we actually gonna talk about what happened between you and Castle today?"

Kate slowly chewed her currant bite of pizza, before swallowing and taking a long sip of wine.

"There's nothing to tell. Gina turned up and they left."

"Kate, there's more to this story and you know it. You broke up with Demming so you could go away with Castle. Are you seriously telling me that there's nothing you're missing out? Tell me, from the top, what happened after you got back from lunch."

Kate sighed, shifted her position on the couch so she was sitting cross-legged to face Lanie and started talking.

"When I got back from seeing you at the morgue, Castle was already back from having lunch with Alexis. He was in a good mood, I just thought he was happy to be leaving for the summer but he didn't say anything more about it. Today was just a paperwork day but he still stuck around for the whole day. I started to think that maybe he was waiting, hoping even, for me to change my mind. I was wrong, he was just waiting to rub the fact that he'd asked Gina to go with him instead in my face. He came rushing out the break room with coffee for us, I mentioned the Hamptons, he seemed like he wanted to say something but I told him that I'd decided that I wanted to go and then Gina turned up before he could respond."

Kate finished talking and looked at Lanie who wore a slightly confused look.

"And?"

"And what?"

Lanie raised an eyebrow. "I want to know everything, Kate. There's more to this and you know it. What happened after Gina turned up? And don't leave anything out."

Kate swallowed down a generous mouthful of wine, readjusted her legs to underneath her and continued.

"Alright. Gina turned up and honestly, Castle looked like a deer caught in headlights... and a child in trouble waiting outside the Principles office at the same time. He introduced us then told her to wait for him so he could say his goodbyes. He wanted to say something but I cut him off, told him not to come back. He's followed me for two years, he's done enough research, he knows how things are done; there really is no need for him to return after the summer. He didn't even fight me on it, Lanie, shows how much he cares."

Lanie stared at Kate, a look of disappointment reflected on her face.

"So let me get this straight; you broke up with Demming, which you should of done weeks ago by the way, because you finally decided that you wanted to spend the weekend in the Hamptons with Castle, correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay, but instead of telling that to him as soon as you saw he was back, you said nothing until a few minutes before the guy was due to leave?" Kate opened her mouth and started to say something but Lanie held a hand up to her. "I'm not done. When you do finally decide to say something, you don't even give writer boy the chance to explain something he clearly needed to. Did it not occur to you that maybe he wanted to tell you that the offer was no longer there? That maybe he wanted to say that Gina was going instead?"

Kate thought about it for a minute. "Maybe. I don't know, he could have. But that doesn't give him the right to invite her up to my desk and rub them going together in my face."

"No, it doesn't." Lanie sipped her wine and looked pointedly at Kate. "He shouldn't have invited her to the precinct, but he had every right to invite her to the Hamptons."

"What?"

"You heard me." Lanie poured more wine in to both of their glasses. "Honey, how many times did Castle ask you to go with him today?"

Kate racked her brains. "I don't know, like three."

"And every time you said no?"

"Well... yes, but -"

"Exactly, you said no. Strike three and you're out. Kate, he waited what, two years for you to finally realise how he feels for you?"

"Come one, Lanie, there's no way he's liked me in any other capacity than a professional one for two years. He's shadowed me, that's all. Besides, he asked me while I was still seeing Tom, what was I supposed to say?"

"But that's just it, Kate. He wanted you to go so badly that he persisted to ask you, even though he knew perfectly well that you were dating someone else. Doesn't that tell you something? He was giving you the chance to truly decide whether or not you wanted to be with him or Demming."

Kate shrugged and Lanie placed her head in her hands. "But, at the end of the day, Lanie, he invited Gina to go with him a matter of hours after he asked me. Are you still so sure that he cares as much as you think?"

"Kate, you're my friend, I love you and I'll always be on your side but this time, you've completely got it wrong!" Lanie lent forward and took Kate's hand and spoke in a soft voice. "Kate, there's only so much rejection a guy can take before he gives up, and today was obviously enough for Castle. He wasn't going to wait around for ever Kate, and that last 'no' to him was letting him know it was time to give up and like telling him that he needs to move on and find someone else – and that's exactly what he's doing. Inviting Gina was a way of moving on from you. You may not like what he's done, hell I don't like it, but I understand it."

Lanies words had finally gotten through to Kate and now silent tears were pouring from her eyes and trailing down her cheeks.

"Oh God, Lanie, what have I done?" She broke down, sobbing in to her friends' shoulder as Lanie wrapped her arms around her.

"Let it out sweetie, just let it out."

It took a good few minutes for Kate to cry it out. Every time she tried to talk, her breath hitched in her throat and she had to choke back another sob. Finally, after several failed attempts at talking, she finally calmed down enough to get a sentence out.

"What do I do? I've ruined everything." She wiped her nose with one sleeve of her sweater and her eyes with the other.

"You have to decide whether this whole thing is worth losing Castle completely. If you try and make the effort, you can repair your friendship with him and who knows, maybe somewhere down the line something might happen but, having him in your life as a friend if better than not having him at all, isn't it?" Lanie handed Kate her glass, having refilled it once again for her.

Kate nodded and knocked back half of the contents of her glass. "He won't come back. I went too far this time."

"Call him, text him, e-mail him but you have to do something, Kate, or it'll be too late."

Kate jumped up and headed for the small table by the front door and dived in to her purse in sear of her phone. With it in hand, she sat back down next to Lanie but froze just before she went to dial his number.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"What if he doesn't answer?" She looked worriedly towards Lanie, who gave her a look of sympathy back.

"Then you leave him a message and wait to see what happens."

Kate nodded before looking back at the phone and dialling. The phone rang what seemed like an eternity before going to voicemail. Kate didn't know whether to be disappointed or slightly happy at the fact that she wouldn't actually get to talk to him.

"_Hi, you've reached the ruggedly handsome Richard Castle. Unfortunately, I am unable to to take your call right now but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."_

Kate took a deep breath before speaking in to the mouthpiece.

"Hey, Castle, it's... it's Kate. I just wanted to let you know that... I don't blame you for inviting Gina to go with you, I took too long to decide and I get that you didn't want to wait anymore. I'm sorry for the way I reacted, it wasn't called for. I... I just want you to know that there'll still be a chair for you at the end of my desk if you... you know... still want it. After today, I understand if you don't. Take care... Rick."

She ended the call with fresh tears in her eyes, she couldn't help feeling as though that would be the last time she called him. She rarely called him Rick, it was always Castle; Rick was just a little too personal for her but she felt that it was time for her to do so. She placed her phone on the table in front of her and pulled her knees up to her chin.

"I'm proud of you, Kate. You've made the first move and we both know that you're not one to normally do that. Listen, I have to be heading home, I'm covering for Perlmutter tomorrow. You gonna be okay?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, I'll be fine. To be honest, I think I'll just have an early night. Might even head out to my Dads cabin tomorrow, seeing as I have till Tuesday off." The truth was that now, Kate just really wanted to be alone, so she could wallow in self-pity and beat herself up over her behaviour.

Lanie grabbed her things but put the one remaining bottle of wine in Kates kitchen. Kate walked her to the door and saw her out.

"Call me tomorrow okay? Let me know what's happening and if you decide to go away."

"Sure. Night, Lanie." The two women embraced quickly then Lanie set off down the corridor and Kate back inside. Kate locked the door, turned out the light and went straight in to the bedroom to crawl under the sheets, not even bothering to undress. Not realising how tired she was, she was asleep within minutes, her dreams filled with the face of Richard Castle.

* * *

_**Not entirely sure I did this chapter justice in terms of Lanie telling Kate what she really thought - but I'm still happy with how it turned out. Would love to know what you guys think!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Apologies for the gap, enjoy!**_

* * *

"Finishing... finishing... finishing... finished!"

Richard Castle sat under the dimming daylight in a little nook he'd dug for himself on the beach. His laptop lay balancing on his thighs, the screen still brightly showing the open word document that was the official first draft of the latest installment to the Nikki Heat novels. He'd made sure to set himself up close enough to to the house that he still had his Wi-Fi coverage and decided it would be best to send the file to Gina as soon as possible - seeing as his deadline was two weeks prior and he wanted to at least have a partly peaceful summer. He waited for the email to send before shutting down and closing the laptop. He hoped Gina didn't want to change too many things; he didn't want to have to think about Nikki Heat or Detective Katherine Beckett any more than he had to. Castle checked his watch and noticed that he'd been on the beach writing for almost two hours and wondered if Gina was still busy in her conference call. Just as he was thinking whether or not he should start dinner or not, the heavens open and he was hit in the face with a downpour of rain. Scrambling to his feet, he grabbed his laptop and wrapped it in the blanket he'd been sitting on, saving it from the pounding rain.

Barely a minute later he reached the house; his clothes were almost completely soaked through but luckily he'd been planning to change anyway. He jogged upstairs to his office and was only very slightly surprised when he could hear Gina's voice from behind the closed door - she always did work long hours. He pushed the door open slowly and creeped inside so he didn't disturb her, placed his laptop on his desk and waited patiently for her to have a spare minute. He didn't have to wait long before she looked up at him.

"Everything alright, Rick?"

"Of course. You'll be happy to know that I've finished - and emailed - the first draft to you."

Her eye lit up and she gave him a bright but tired smile. "That's brilliant, Rick. I'll have a look at it tomorrow."

"Are you nearly finished? Only I was thinking of making a start on dinner. It'll take about an hour or so."

She glanced at the time and sighed. "We were supposed to be finished a couple of hours ago but Bradley's being difficult; demanding five books not three and flexible deadlines but that's just not how we run things at Black Pawn. I'm signing off in half an hour regardless, and if negotiations are still not finished, the other publishers will have to sort it out." she rubbed her eyes gently before giving Rick a questioning look. "Why the hell are you soaking wet?"

He looked down at his body; his shirt was sticking to his arms and torso while his pants were hanging slightly from the weight of the water. A small puddle had also started to form at his feet from the excess. He laughed quietly to himself before responding. "I was on the beach when it started raining, I'd be surprised if we're not hit by a full on storm but I'm almost certain we won't be. I was on my way to change when I heard you still in here. How does lightly smoked chicken and bacon carbonara sound?"

"Delicious, I can't wait. I really should get back to it if I have any hope of finishing things up."

"Sure, come down soon, okay?"

She nodded and he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the room and heading to the master bedroom. He took a quick, five minute shower before changing into jeans and another thin, cotton shirt. He stayed bare foot and padded through the house, back down to the kitchen. He hadn't been to the house in months, preferring to stay in the city to be at Becketts every beck and call. Before he started shadowing Beckett at the Twelfth precinct, he had found the need to escape to the house and force himself to find inspiration to write once a month or so. Over the last two years, however, he hadn't felt the need. Working with Kate had been enough. Hell, just being _near_ Kate had been enough. It saddened him to think that their partnership could really be over but it would do good to dwell on it now. He had to keep his mind focused and forget he ever loved Katherine Beckett.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes after Rick left his office, Gina was finally able to finish her call. "So we're all in agreement? Four books and a weeks leeway on all deadline? Good. I want the contracts drawn up and brought over for me to sign tomorrow. You have the address. I wish you all a good night and I'll see you in a few weeks."

Gina ended her call and turned off her phone, not wanting to give anyone the opportunity to disturb her for the rest of the night. She wanted nothing more than to go downstairs and eat but she not only knew dinner was not yet ready (Rick would have called up) but she also was in desperate need of a refreshing shower. Rick had placed her luggage in the large, walk in closet and once she had retrieved her shower things, she strolled in to the en-suite bathroom. Half an hour later she was out, swaddled in a large, fluffy white towel with another wrapped tightly around her head, soaking up the excess water from her blonde hair.

She'd picked out a simple summer dress to wear, knowing that she would just be changing out of it again in a few hours. As she approached the closet again to retrieve her hairbrush, she heard and loud buzzing behind her and after investigating the source of the noise, she found herself frozen in place staring at Rick's phone on the bed. The device was flashing brightly as the incoming call continued but it was the image set as his display for the caller that caused her to freeze. The picture was a self taken one of Rick and Detective Beckett standing together, heads tilting towards each other, big grins on their faces and each holding a take-out coffee cup. Gina knew Rick. Photos like these were reserved for Alexis and Alexis alone. Every one else simply got a portrait picture set as their display. But not Beckett. The sight upset her, probably a lot more than it should have but she couldn't help it. Were the two involved? Was their partnership more than just work related? There had been rumors but Rick had always denied it, had he lied?

The buzzing stopped and the silence that followed snapped Gina back to present day. She stared at the phone, a feeling of hatred towards the woman who had just called. She wasn't even sure the feeling was justified but that didn't stop her from feeling it. The phone vibrated against the bedspread once more to signal that a voicemail had been sent. For a second she had considered taking the phone downstairs with her and letting Rick know his muse had called but she discarded that thought fairly quickly. Instead, she picked up the phone and sat on the bed, cautiously listening out for any approaching footsteps. the phone was locked but it wouldn't take a genius to work out the password - he always had it set to the year of Alexis' birth. She opened up the message and listened to the voice of, by the sounds of it, a slightly intoxicated Katherine Beckett.

"_Hey, Castle, it's... it's Kate. I just wanted to let you know that... I don't blame you for inviting Gina to go with you, I took too long to decide and I get that you didn't want to wait anymore. I'm sorry for the way I reacted, it wasn't called for. I... I just want you to know that there'll still be a chair for you at the end of my desk if you... you know... still want it. After today, I understand if you don't. Take care... Rick._"

Gina pulled the phone from her ear with a shaking hand. So he'd asked Beckett first? He'd been turned down by Beckett _then_ asked Gina to go with him? She was devastated. She honestly thought that this could be a new start for them, that maybe Rick had come to care for her as more than just his publisher again. She had been wrong. So, so wrong and it hurt. She was just a rebound. She felt stupid for even thinking that Rick truly gave a damn about her. He had seemed to genuine and she'd once again fallen for his charm. She loved him though, never stopped loving him even after she agreed to sign the divorce papers. It took her two minutes to decide that she wasn't losing him again. Gina hadn't come all this way to leave the same night. Listening carefully again, he tapped away at the phone deleting all trace that Becket had called. She deleted her name from the call log, the message indicating the existence of the voicemail and the voicemail itself. Obviously he and the detective had had an argument of sorts and knowing Rick, the slightest hint that she would be willing to continue working with him and he'd go running back. Gina couldn't let him though, not now.

She changed quickly and towel dried her hair, letting her damp locks fall loosely to her shoulders. Rick had loved this look on her when they were married - the natural look. She would make him fall back in love with her. Gina left the phone on the bed and walked out the room, vowing to make Richard Castle regret even divorcing her in the process.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate was rudely awoken from her dreams the next morning by the sound of her alarm clock blaring from the night stand to her right. It was evident to the Detective after a minute of confusion that she must have forgotten to turn it off when she had come home from the precinct the night before, having been too distracted by the afternoons events for it to even occur to her that she wouldn't be needing it. Even if she had been woken by the annoying, recurring '_bleep bleep bleep_' of the seven thirty alarm, Kate did vaguely recall that, that morning, had been the latest she'd been able to sleep in for the last two or three weeks. Not only had she had the early morning call outs to her own cases, the nights she'd stayed at Demmings ended in him getting called out in the early hours and her being dropped back at her apartment to shower and change before heading to the precinct herself. Kate could have very easily switched off her alarm and simply returned to sleep for a few more hours - if it wasn't for the pressing need to pee and the band currently performing inside her skull.

There was no point in partaking in her usual routine of showering and choking down a quick breakfast with instant coffee before leaving. Instead, she rifled through the bathroom cabinet, looking for the bottle of aspirin she knew she kept in there, sticking one on her tongue when once she'd found in and popped the cap. Kate stared at her reflection in the mirror; her eyes were slightly sunken with bags underneath from not having a decent nights sleep in weeks but also red rimmed from where she had evidently been crying in her sleep. She was exhausted; her body knew she had a few days to relax and was letting her know it wanted to do just that. Seeing as she had the time, Kate made herself a latte using the espresso machine she'd bought herself a few months ago (having grown accustomed to using the one Castle had kitted the break room out with and wanted to have the same luxury at home). Twenty two minutes after the alarm had woken her, Kate was sitting on the couch, latte on the table in front of her with the TV turned to a pathetic excuse for morning television. Kate couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to sit and watch such a programme, probably her days before joining the academy.

Sipping away at the steaming contents of her mug, Kate was trying to determine whether she was supposed to be feeling better or worse after last nights talk with Lanie. It felt good to finally express some insight to her feelings to someone but at the same time, she felt utterly terrible at the way she'd treated Castle. She'd reacted out of hurt and anger but he didn't deserve it, it wasn't his fault, it was hers, and she understood that now. She could only hope that Castle would return her call, or at least reply in some way.

Kate finished her latte but decided her stomach wouldn't allow for food consumption, not yet anyway. No mater how exhausted her body told her she was, Kate couldn't justify that as a good enough reason for forego her daily work out routine. She knew yoga wouldn't get her heart pumping to the speed she needed, and she didn't fancy heading down to her local gym for a sparring session so going on a run would have to do. It was pointless showering beforehand, seeing as she would need to do it when she came back anyway. Kate deposited her now empty mug in the sink and dug through the hamper of clean laundry that she'd left on the counter a week ago. She located her favourite pair of running shorts at the bottom of the hamper and, after some difficulty, extracted the familiar material. She plucked out a sports bra and headed to the bedroom, changed and tied her hair in to a pony tail. Just as she sat on her bed, ready to pull her running shoes out from underneath it, her cell started ringing. Kate couldn't help the thumping in her chest as she raced to find the device. She wanted it to be Castle, hoped it would be, but something in her gut told her it wasn't. Kate managed to find her cell stuffed between the couch cushions, the screen baring the face of her best friend. Her stomach fell at the knowing that Castle hadn't called.

"Hey, Lanie, what's up?" Kate tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"_You were hoping for him, wasn't you?_" There was a knowing tone in her voice and Kate knew it had been stupid to try and hide her emotion.

"No." The silence from her friend was deafening, and Kate sighed. "Yes."

"_Girl, you called him late last night and it's still early in the morning. There's a chance he hasn't even checked his messages. Give him a chance._"

"I know, I know. What did you need, Lane?" There was sound of papers rustling in the background and Kate knew Lanie was stalling. "Lanie?"

"_I was gonna ask if you'd read the paper this morning, but evidently you haven't. I was hoping to give you some warning about page six, you should read it._"

Kate walked over to her front door, unlocked it and retrieved the paper that was on her welcome mat. She stood in the doorway and turned straight to page six, her heart started to race as she saw the familiar names in one of the columns.

**_'Mystery writer and ex-wife reunited?'_**

**_'It has been recently rumoured that mystery crime novelist, Rick Castle, and former wife, Gina Cowell, could be on their way to relighting their previous romance, (three years ago their marriage ended in a bitter divorce with the two maintaining a strictly professional only relationship). A reporter for the New York Times, who happened to be lunching at the same Italian restaurant yesterday, witnessed the pair laughing before having what seemed to be an intimate conversation. Castle, who had been dining with his daughter only moments before, seemed eager to keep the conversation going but Ms Cowell departed his table for her own soon after._**

**_Our sources have revealed that Ms Cowell, publisher for Black Pawn, later turned up with multiple bags to the 12th Precinct (where Rick Castle currently shadows Detective Katherine Beckett, muse for the Nikki Heat series). They were seen leaving together minutes later, packing her bags in to his car and driving away._**

**_It's unclear where the two were heading, but it is widely known that Castle owns a house in the Hamptons, could that be their final destination? _**

**_This latest development in the personal life of the writer has put to bed the previous rumours that Mr Castle has been secretly dating Det. Beckett (whom he has been working closely with for the past two years). _**

Kate hadn't realised that she'd read the article out loud until she heard Lanie starting to speak again.

"_It's media speculation, Kate. It could mean nothing._" She knew Lanie was just being nice, they were both well aware the paper had the whole situation on point.

"But it's not nothing, Lanie. I screwed up and if he wants to start things up with Gina again, good luck to him. You know, maybe it's best if he doesn't come back, it would just cause more trouble in the end."

"_You don't mean that, Kate, and you know it._"

"No, I don't, but doesn't mean it's not the right thing." Kate tossed the paper in the thrash can and threw herself on the couch.

"_Give him a chance, Kate. Yes, you really did mess things up but you have to understand that the balls in his court. If he wants to try with Gina promise me you wont hold it against him, because he doesn't deserve that._"

Kate paused for a minute. It was highly likely that _if_ Castle did come back, complete with a new relationship, she would undoubtedly hold it against him but she knew she had no right to, it was just something she tended to do.

"I promise."

"_Good. I gotta go, a body just dropped. Kate, Honey, try and enjoy the weekend. Call me if you need anything._"

"I will, bye."

"_Bye._"

Kate hung up the phone and tossed it to the cushion next to her. She knew it was only a matter of time before there was something in the papers about Castle and Gina, she just didn't expect it to be so soon. She wished he would call. She wished he'd call and either tell her never to contact him again or that he'd be back after the summer. Yes, she could always try again but Kate wasn't that sort of person, she never had been.

Kate pushed herself up from the couch and grabbed her running shoes from by her bed, slipped them on and tied the laces. She slipped on the strap that held her Ipod in place and tightened it around her upper arm, popping the ear buds in and turning the music up as loud as she could stand, wanting to block out the entire world around her. Kate never carried her phone around with her when she was running, and she wasn't about to start now - she could only hope that she wouldn't miss any calls while she was out.

* * *

_**Please review!**_


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